1. |
Trying Superhard
02:44
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LYRICS
this broken harp
sounds just like a broken heart
and i try superhard to make you notice
cause if you detect
my defects
goes to show we're all just human souls
trying superhard
this asthmatic breath
sounds just like approaching death
and i try superhard to cherish breathing
far as i comprehend
it will end
but before we are all just human souls
trying superhard
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2. |
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LYRICS
he wore a track suit
right from the 70s
and chugged those beers down
with mesmerizing speed
some say it was concentration
right there in his eyes
that were wandering hazily
both left and right
the bruno sammartino of drinking
in his celebration we did indulge
the bruno sammartino of drinking
dove headfirst into the bark mulch
the bruno sammartino of drinking
oh i think he needed stitches
the bruno sammartino of drinking
because karma is a bitch yes
his chunky build
his manly chin
he couldn't even help it
it was clear he'd win
and the somersaults he did
to celebrate his victory
were the most lovely witlessness
that i have ever seen
the bruno sammartino of drinking
in his celebration we did indulge
the bruno sammartino of drinking
dove headfirst into the bark mulch
the bruno sammartino of drinking
oh i think he needed stitches
the bruno sammartino of drinking
because karma is a bitch yes
you gotta lie down, little bruno
but not like that
but it's okay, you're still a hero
with that bandage round your head
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3. |
Hans Island
02:22
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LYRICS
there's an island in the kennedy channel
next to greenland way up north and far out
denmark and canada are waging a war there
that few have even heard about
but it's not all that severe, not many casualties here
soldiers throwing up, that's about it
not much fighting going on and a zero death toll
they use a neurotoxin, it's called alcohol
on hans island
and they say just share a beer, don't spread the fear
but the comradery, borderless empathy
compassion and booze - and no one will lose
and at some point no one will even remember
what other wars are like
hi my name is lars, hi my name is mike
rather hungover than dead, a headache is better
than being stabbed in the head - we can agree on that,
so let's fight like they do on hans island
let's fight like they do in hans island
on hans island
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4. |
||||
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LYRICS
i died in freddy's sports goods store,
the owner stabbed me in cold blood
my life's end and a ball pump is everything i got
heyhey
i died in freddy's sports goods store tonight
i digitally transferred him my soul
and that was that
i'll never do no sports no more and the football remains flat
heyhey
i died in freddy's sports goods store tonight
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5. |
I Wore These Shoes
02:09
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LYRICS
and i wore these shoes in all kinds of weather
playin these blues on the road doesn't make them look better
but with all of the ache in my heart and the world
i'll never learn to fly like a bird so i'll never give these shoes a break
and i wore these shoes in all kinds of weather
playin these blues on the road doesn't make them look better
but with all of the ache in my heart and the world
i'll never learn to fly like a bird so i'll never give these shoes a break
never give these shoes a break
never give these shoes a break
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6. |
Picard
02:45
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LYRICS
at least i'm sober, at least i can think
i choose to think about how much i will drink
and i guess that i'll drink every beer i can find
it's okay to do that with a sober mind
and yes i only hang around at the bar
far from commanding a starship
still i'd like to be just like picard
in the best TNG scripts
the captain always had a solution
for injustice and corruption, aggression and pollution
the captain always got out of impossible situations
and led his crew into the next generation
the captain was always calm and confident, was always strong
and he did fuckin admit whenever he was fuckin wrong
and it didn't do him any harm
and yes i only hang around at the bar
far from commanding a starship
still i'd like to be just like picard
in the best TNG scripts
but i'm not like the captain, mostly i'm just a bum
but oh yes the captain inspires me to become
the best bum i can become
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7. |
Shampoo Vs Hand
02:50
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LYRICS
i was standing in the shower
filled with maddening frustration
because for about half an hour
i was busy with operation
'squeezing the bottle of shampoo'
shakin it and all the things you do
when it's reluctant to leave its home
and turn into a cleansing foam
that morning gravity was my enemy
i couldn't understand
until the shampoo missed my hand
for the first time
i whispered 'fuck!'
but thought 'alright, fine
just try again'
i was standing in the shower
filled with maddening frustration
because for about half an hour
i was busy with operation
'squeezing the bottle of shampoo'
shakin it and all the things you do
when it's reluctant to leave its home
and turn into a cleansing foam
that morning gravity was my enemy
started to understand
when the shampoo missed my hand
for the second time
i muttered 'fuck!'
started to moan and whine
just try again'
i was standing in the shower
filled with maddening frustration
because for about half an hour
i was busy with operation
'squeezing the bottle of shampoo'
shakin it and all the things you do
when it's reluctant to leave its home
and turn into a cleansing foam
that morning gravity was my enemy
finally could understand
when the shampoo missed my hand
for the third time
i cried out 'fuck!'
started to lose my mind
just try again'
that morning gravity was my friend
when the shampoo found my hand
that morning gravity was my friend
when the shampoo found my hand
that morning gravity was my friend
when the shampoo found my hand
that morning gravity was my friend
when the shampoo found my hand
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8. |
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LYRICS
i bought no ink all summer
i bought no ink all winter
it's not even the money i'd spend
it's more of a social experiment
do i need to buy ink this summer?
do i need to buy ink this winter?
for quite a long time now
i've been studying the question
how long can i possibly go without a printer?
the ink has run dry
it's all dead inside
but it has a passive kind of beauty
the way it sits there next to my desk
so it's probably best not to tinker
with my dusty, old, comatose printer
you might say it is lazy
you might say it's naive
but i got friendly neighbors
and an office job
does that make me a leech?
does that make me a thief?
sometimes i do ride my bike
to the printing shop
but how long can i possibly go without a printer?
the ink has run dry,
it's all dead inside
but it reminds me that there are so many things
that we don't really need
and most things you can get used, second hand,
recycled and really cheap
and that is very much
good enough
for little old me
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9. |
Shitty Way To Die
02:07
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still had my hands on my cock when i saw the hands of the clock
moving too quickly, hm, this day will be tricky
i'm already too late, it's not like i already ate
but i need to get paid, so i'll be there, i'll be there, don't worry
now during my working hours sometimes i feel the power
of the capitalism machine crushing my spirit, my dreams
and all the time that i spend at a job that i resent
just to pay the rent, yeah i'll be there, i'll be there, don't worry
it's not all bad this job, but if the clocks would all stop
during my shift today, well that would not be okay
in fact it would be quite bad, i guess i'd kill myself dead
but i need to get paid, so i'll live through it, don't worry
there's a lot of shitty ways to die
but the worst one is to get fired
from a life you never wanted
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10. |
Umbilical Chords
02:32
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LYRICS
and by now that is more or less
only crystal meth underneath her dress
her presence still makes me beautifully nervous
when she sings it all wrong for the punk rock virgins
this year she only wrote half a song
she felt the words came out all wrong
she sang 'i'm a matchstick beauty
i'm easily flammable
but i wont burn for long'
and then there was only this one festival that took her
and when i'm honest, i think they had a deaf booker,
i think she was born with demons of all sorts
and ended up strangled by these umbilical chords
this year she only wrote half a song
she felt the words came out all wrong
she sang 'i'm a matchstick beauty
i'm easily flammable
but i wont burn for long'
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11. |
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LYRICS
what makes us human beings is supposed to be compassion
but when i look at politics compassion's in regression
it seems to run out of style
but when i look at art
everything that runs out of style
seems to return
after a little while
sometimes your heart is bleeding when times get super tough
and everyday a new problem emerges
to think your heart is strong and fierce
might just not be enough
so how bout this:
your heart is where your cardiovascular system
converges
now this is quite a medical thought and not all that romantic
and all in all it seems a little distant
but let's keep looking for that wisdom
that floats around within our urges
and our childish antics
your heart is where your cardiovascular system
converges
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12. |
Pretty Pointless
02:27
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LYRICS
i told you i love you and kept hanging on, pretty pointless
i applied for a job soon as i was born, pretty pointless
i tried to debate with the far far right, pretty pointless
now i'm waiting at this traffic light, the streets are empty late at night
but i try to avoid stress, don't get my hopes up anymore
cause it's all pretty pointless, don't really know what hope is for
i tried to write a pop song with lyrics so cheesy and pointless
it went down really really ever so easy, but pointless
it seems like some lyrics are just out to please me but pointless
i want to be irritated, surprised and overwhelmed
but when the lyrics are challenging no one will listen to the thing
on the radio, so i don't really get my hopes up anymore
and if there's no point at all, that is totally fine, seems to reduce stress
quite relaxing really, thinking that arguing and fighting is pointless
it may sound a bit sad at first, but i'm not talking about an emptiness
more like an invulnerable grin glued into your face
and maybe i'm just fucking wrong and there is a point to all this shit
and we can guess what it is when the conservatives don't approve of it
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13. |
Caveman Caveman
02:39
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LYRICS
caveman, caveman, oh how i wish i was you
with that small a brain i wouldn't even try to construe
how my shopping's related to poverty and world hunger
the only thing i'd do all day long would be yelling unga bunga
plus i've got some mad respect
for anyone who can kill a t-rex
caveman, caveman, oh how i wish i was you
with that small a brain i wouldn't grasp the concept of truth
or the complicated stuff in the news - right there in the telly
(i wouldn't have one)
the only thing i'd focus on would be the unga bunga yelling
plus i've got some mad respect
for anyone who can kill a t-rex
and hey you survived the dinosaurs
now isn't that a happy second chorus
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14. |
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LYRICS
chapter one: i was pretty much done with the night
had kissed a pretty girl, went home alone, but felt alright about it
then in front of the grand hotel
i encountered a whole bunch
of yelling people in suits
all in a bad mood and shouting
at one another like rabid dogs
i decided to investigate
those guys had sparked my interest
although it was rather cold and late
but it was the most enraged drunkard bunch
of well dressed businessmen
probably just coming from an office christmas party
that i had ever seen
and so in front of the grand hotel
i encountered one of them who joined me in
quietly enjoying the spectacle
we were both quite amused by his colleagues
chapter two: one of them was shunned by others
and walked away from the group
but only for 10 meters, where he found a new brother
just lying there on the street, in the cold and his own vomit
i hadn't noticed the teenaged boy before
and now it really stopped being funny
and so in front of the grand hotel
that drunk businessman
got sort of touchy with the young boy
pulling him up, dragging him in through the front door
but they were kicked right out again
the teen had tried it before
chapter three: now it seemed up to me to help
those two fuck ups, dead drunk and without destination
now make no mistake, i was dead drunk too
and quite overwhelmed with the situation
the businessman was a wildcard, from the start
i knew i had to keep those two apart
and so in front of the grand hotel
the three of us spent very uncomfortable minutes
until finally a fucking cab arrived
that brought upon the end of that superweird night
and so in front of the grand hotel
the three of us spent very uncomfortable minutes
until finally a fucking cab arrived
that brought upon the end of that superweird night
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15. |
Bavaria One
01:55
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LYRICS
and i'm flyin in my lederhosen
to the moon
back on earth they're askin
where has all our money gone
what have we done - bavaria one
there's a satellite shaped like a weißwurst
the engines are runnin' on bierdurst
hurray for the bavarian race
and the wies'n up in space
what have we done - bavaria one
but there's a pretzel in the cables
and the captain spilled his beer
and so finally this entire 'mia san mia' ideology
is burnin' up in the atmosphere
what have we done - bavaria one
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16. |
Suicidal Animals
03:06
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LYRICS
suicidal animals - are they not well?
suicidal animals - are they mental?
once there was this bird that flew into my driving car
pretty crazy
was it a kamikaze thing to do
or was it just tired and lazy
always lookin where to fly
keepin its eyes open all the time
suicidal animals - are they not well?
suicidal animals - are they mental?
then there was this deer in the forest of my grandma
jumpin at the fences like a maniac
it had a broken neck already from jumpin at the fences
but it kept manically jumpin at the fences
why did it do it
was it so depressed?
suicidal animals - are they not well?
suicidal animals - are they mental?
they probably are
then there was this kamikaze rabbit that jumped into my tire
it was dark and pretty late
i tried to scratch its corpse of the road
but to no avail
the thing was so heavy and sort of
glued to the floor by its own blood and gore
suicidal animals - are they not well?
suicidal animals - are they mental?
society probably made them this way
have you seen this documentary with the russian walrusses
commiting mass suicide
wanted to see what happens if
they all jump off that cliff
its by far one of the most terrifying things i've ever seen
in any documentary
if you are an animal
and life is treating you like shit
you're done and tired of your existence
it's okay to quit
it's okay to quit
it's okay to quit
humans wont mind a bit
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17. |
Vacation Song
00:15
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LYRICS
three couples and a guy with a guitar
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18. |
Elbow Me
03:36
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LYRICS
climate change is coming to town
and there's gonna be hell toupet
now that is the thing that trump wears above his face
get it? a hell toupet
and every morning i gotta benchpress
one entire frenchpress
just to be fit for the day and all the news of decay -
i'd like to become a fucked up old man
so please greta and all the other smart kids out there
please make sure that i can
ELBOW ME!
the most random thing on this planet is a border
still we pretend that it's the natural order
i think it's a farce, people settling on mars,
the only thing stupider'd be settling on jupiter
ELBOW ME!
whenever i buy plastic and throw it away
whenever i drown the bad news in my drink
and start thinking that it is way too late
and all the worst thoughts i can think
ELBOW ME!
whenever i forget that i'm not alone
on this dripping ice cream cone
whenever i think one elbow's not enough
come by my house to push and shove
with a million elbow's tough love shove
ELBOW ME!
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19. |
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LYRICS
now i was born with non-toxic blood
a fairly reasonable amount
i'm told this could help alleviate
the populations body count
and after all it is self-regenerating
what am i gonna do with it
except give it away to the one's who really need it
donate that shit
so i walked in to the red cross station,
where they would take my body fluid
i'm told its a questionable organisation
but i was there and i thought, what the hell, just do it
when in walked a nazi
i could see it on his shirt
he wore the logo of a right-wing brand, a bald head and a tattoo
of an unmistakable bird
now the thought alone of having that brown soup flowing through my veins
made my inerts slowly rot
we quickly organized a choir to tell that guy right there and then
we don't want your nazi blood!
but i suppose it's his good right to do good deeds
and to donate his brown soup to those in need
i just hope his cruel ignorance of history's pages
is not biologically contagious
we don't want your nazi blood!
now who's the villain of the story? there probably are two
i caught myself full of prejudice and fear
that's what youd expect from the nazi, and i guess he wanted to help, too
scary that we had the same idea
but the thought alone of having that brown soup flowing through my veins
made my inerts slowly rot
we quickly organized a choir to tell that guy right there and then
we don't want your nazi blood!
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20. |
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LYRICS
down, down the throat it goes
what exactly it does to your brain, no one knows
cause you were quite crazy - already - when you were sober
i thought you know what you're doing, after all you're a bit older
and i thought it might be nice, i thought i'd like to be your lover
but the empty bottles in your room make it hard to climb into your bed for cover
wouldn't wanna be your liver
wouldn't wanna be your liver
i'd like to be your lover but i wouldn't wanna be your liver
i'd like to be your lover but i wouldn't wanna be your liver
down, down the throat you chug it
and then you run to find your bucket
you have that sexy crosseyed look in our face
when you want to take me back to your place
and i think it might be nice, yes i'd like to be your lover
but the empty bottles in your room make it hard to climb into your bed for cover
wouldn't wanna be your liver
wouldn't wanna be your liver
i'd like to be your lover but i wouldn't wanna be your liver
i'd like to be your lover but i wouldn't wanna be your liver
down, down the throat it goes
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The Black Elephant Band Nuremberg, Germany
„[...] ungeschliffene, gestochen scharf auf den Punkt kommende, englischsprachige
Songminitaturen voll von schrägem Humor
und bitterbösen Weltbetrachtungen, die schlecht
gestimmte Gitarre schnörkellos rudimentär, die Stimme ein wütendes Knurren, kaum ein Lied
länger als zweieinhalb Minuten. Wunderbar!“ (NN)
"Schräger Antifolk mit Bart, Klampfe und Mundharmonika. Zum Verlieben!" (A&F)
... more
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